Some poems

I Sleep

I sleep and I wake thinking of you
Smile on my face thinking of your smile
Heavy eyes peering inwards
I see you, I love you, I cry
The threat of distance
Recoils my touch I want to know
Dear future what do you hold

When I wake I think of you
I feel that ghostly hand
Of your lingering touch
From many moons ago, from last night
Imprints of kisses given in secret
I touch scars of adoration
Etched in my flesh and soul
They itch pleasure
I want ... you ...

In the early hours I awake
I ponder thoughts you gave me
I laugh at the memory of you
For a while I dwell in scenarios
Of fantastic flights of fancy
I press rewind
I relive the past, I live a future
That never will be but probably could

I arise in the morning and think of you
Sunlight blinds me and I know
At this moment in your dreams
I haunt you
And later when you awake
You'll know I was there with you
For a moment, a presence by your side
A sweet something
For a moment ...

I go back to sleep

***


Intensely

I awake in the dawn's dreary light
Blink away solid sleep in my eyes to see
The nightmare is the same, the darkness is just behind my eyelids.
Birds chirp sickeningly sweet migraine songs
Brine on the breeze smelling of decaying sea things.
My stomach churns.
The stark sunshine bearing down on me upsets my mind.
I swirl, I faint, I heave into the green grass of paradise.

Eden is haunted by my stalker
The boogeyman drives by slowly, peering over my prone form, prick in hand, foulness dripping.
My throat burns from the abuse. A void opens up inside me

I go to work, to school, I try to function in the great lie
I smile to others while shrieking inside my fractured mind
I’m terrified of you all!
Monsters grin at me admiring their handiwork

I kiss lovers with lips stained with acid,
My fickle fucked heart cruelly slays them with an axe.
At nightfall my blood stained face surrenders to the blackness that’s behind my eyelids.
The cries are hushed.
I whisper “Goodnight Mister Moon. Goodnight.”

And hope tomorrow I awake in another world